talking to carol

I talk to the press all the time, especially to 'zines and webmags that focus on sex and culture. These are links and reprints from some of those interviews.

waferbaby.com is run by daniel, a 26 year old vegan web geek who lives above a garage in sydney, australia, with his beat-up powerbook and acute lack of fashion sense. But that only begins to hint at the hip and individual sensibility on the site -- especially the interview corner. Q& A's are conducted by a... how did Daniel describe it?... sex-crazed transsexual monkey, or something or the kind.

22/02/03: carol queen, on sex and sexology.

monkey

oh honey, i'm so glad you're here, because i may have fainted from hot overload; your store has just so many toys! and when i called for a doctor, i had no idea they'd send you to my rescue!

they tell me you're a sexologist, and i just have to know: what's it all about, sweetie?

carol queen

a sexologist is an academic who specializes in the study of sex. this could be from a research point of view, wearing a white lab coat and prodding interesting places; or from a theoretical point of view (the brain is our largest sex organ, after all); or they could focus on teaching. some are also called "clinical sexologists," and they are essentially sex therapists who work with people who are troubled about their sex lives.

i'm a cultural sexologist, which means that i specialize in looking at the ways sex and culture interact. (my background is in sociology, so that's a pretty natural progression.) i write and teach, plus i serve as the staff sexologist at good vibrations, the worker-owned, women-owned sex company in san francisco. i write a q&a column for our website, help with staff sexuality education (we want to be able to talk to pretty much anyone about pretty much anything), and answer questions from the press. more about my own work is available on www.carolqueen.com.

monkey

sweetie, that sounds divine; i bet you've done a lot of hands-on field research! oooh, i'd love to be your little guinea pig! can you tell me how hot, hot loving has changed over the last decade?

carol queen

the 1990's was a pretty good decade for sexuality in many ways, in the us at least. people got tired of the great conservatism of the reagan years and began to deal with the cultural panic about aids. in san francisco there was a flowering of 'zines devoted to sex, the fetish scene began to really come into its own, safer sex options abounded even for group sex. outside the subcultures, frank sex discussion became more common on tv and in the popular press. and then, of course, there was bill clinton -- the right wing tried to make him a poster boy for sexual libertinism, but in fact he was more like a poster boy for the need for sexual forthrightness and honesty.

the underside of all this is that more available sex talk doesn't necessarily get correct information to people, and our public sex education here is just awful. the web, too, has upped the ante on sexual conversation and depiction -- sometimes in very positive ways and sometimes not. and so many advances seem to be made in the hiv treatment arena that not everyone is as devoted to safer sex as they were ten years ago -- which is a true problem. a mixed bag, all in all, but in my opinion more open discourse is almost always better than less.

monkey

oooh, the way you said open discource gave me the warm fuzzies; i'm feeling faint again! but sweetie, why is sex still such a taboo? everyone's doing it!

carol queen

well, there you are. sex sells, of course, and the media will use it as such -- to sell product, to draw attention. people are sexually curious, often sexually hungry, and the media discourse at first glance seems to normalize sexuality (and to some degree it truly does). however, we've had a rather long history in which open sexual discourse -- and especially "deviant" discourse -- has been considered quite unacceptable, especially for the average citizens. and when you begin digging around in people's sexual history and experience you often see how different people really are; the world hasn't fully come to terms with dealing in difference, and the pressure to be a "normal" person sexually (instead of a happy, healthy person, whatever your sexuality is) remains very strong.

monkey

now i have known quite a few boys who are happy to enjoy a little bit of pressure, if you know what i mean!

now sweetie, i'm feeling much better, but i just can't leave the store without buying at least one toy, and there really are so many to choose from! won't you tell this poor monkey your own personal favourite?

you can bend over and whisper in my ear, if you like!

carol queen

i have a very soft spot for the hitachi magic wand vibrator, a very good-quality, powerful electric massager that's good for much more than shoulders. however, it plugs into the wall current, so people without us electrical systems might have trouble getting the most out of it.

a close second is the adorable little battery vibrator with hello kitty on it! small, pretty strong, and too cute for words. in that category also is a vibrator shaped like a little yellow rubber duck (it's called the i rub my duckie, and it's also available in black for all you hipsters) -- waterproof, floats, vibrates!

i think it's a big plus when your sex toys can amuse you. in this uncertain world, we need all the help we can get!