Dear Carol,

I have a question for you. I have a feeling that during recent sexual activity with my husband, he hurt my vagina inside (a little bit) with his fingernail. My question is, can it cause problems? I want to conceive and am worried that this might be a problem.

--G

Dear G,

If the scrape you got from your husband's fingernail was not too deep, it will probably have resolved by the time it took you to write to me and for me to reply. A scratch on the surface mucosa of the vagina will most likely cause no interference at all with conception, although it might be best to wait until it's resolved to try -- if you're infected inside, that couldn't help, and your priority should be getting it taken care of. If the area that was injured still hurts (during intercourse or at other times) or you notice redness, swelling, or an unusual discharge, by all means go and see your gynecologist.

The vagina is a fairly sturdy organ, particularly when you are aroused and it is engorged with blood. Healthy blood flow anywhere in the body is necessary for the healing process to take place. There are some physical difficulties that would make this sort of injury problematic for some women -- if you were diabetic, for example, your blood flow might be impaired; if you are prone to infection, that wouldn't necessarily be a good thing; some HIV-positive or otherwise immunocompromised women might have extra difficulty in a situation like this. I hasten to say that even if you are still noticing discomfort, it doesn't mean you have one of these health problems! It could just have been a deeper scratch that you realized it was.

There's one more thing to say about your situation that is useful news for any sexually active person: Trim and/or file your fingernails before any sex play that includes penetration! People who do more extreme kinds of sex, like fisting, know this well. It is even more important for anal penetration than it is for vaginal play, because the anus isn't as tough and thick-walled as the vagina. However, as you discovered, G, it is possible to cause irritation or mild injury to the vagina without meaning to -- or even without being too rough or vigorous. The same principal applies with hard-surfaced sex toys like plastic vibrators and anal beads -- sometimes they have a scratchy seam or a burr on the end, left over from the molding process, and you have to smooth the rough parts off with a nail file.

Here's a sexy way to tell whether the fingers that are about to go into you are ready for the trip: Pick up your husband's hand and put each of his fingers into your mouth, one by one. As the fingertip passes your lips, run your tongue over the tip, where you can feel the edge of his fingernail. You'll be able to tell immediately if it's too rough, long, sharp or scratchy. Clip or file as needed and you're ready to play.

Hi Dr. Queen,

Do the various techniques of the Kama Sutra really make sex better? If so, how much better?

--Dan

Dear Dan,

My answer comes from a particular cultural context, that of a western sex educator. If you could find someone who had devoted half a lifetime or so to mastering the Kama Sutra, within its original cultural context, you might get an entirely different answer than the one I'll give. Of course, that would be impossible, really, since its *original* cultural context is centuries in the past -- but hopefully you see my point. This doesn't mean that taking other cultures' sexual wisdom out of context strips that wisdom of... well, wisdom. Many people in the US happily practice Tantric or Taoist ways and get a lot out of them. It's just that we probably don't experience these practices in just the same way as the people did in the places and times in which they were first developed.

That's enough of a caveat. The Kama Sutra that is best-known in the West is a sex manual featuring many alternate intercourse positions. We usually see books listing these that feature Indian erotic art, and sometimes also photos of couples engaged in these various positions. (It is pretty much always depicted as a series of heterosexual techniques, although same-sex couples can adopt many of them for strap-on or anal penetration.) When the Kama Sutra first came to the West it was undoubtedly truly radical -- this was not so far removed from the time period that Christian missionaries were traveling the world trying to get people from other cultures to stop having sex every which way. In fact, the many variations on intercourse and pleasuring illustrated in the Kama Sutra perfectly show why these folks had their work cut out for them enforcing the "Missionary Position" -- that is, man on top, woman below. This was supposed to be the only position to use -- others were too lewd, plus man atop woman was supposedly how the Christian God wanted everyone to behave, literally as well as figuratively. Christianity was, of course, pretty well established in the West, and most likely the majority of people influenced by it had pretty basic, missionary position sex. When the brightly colored erotic drawings of the Kama Sutra turned up, they no doubt blew some minds -- and probably encouraged at least some people to experiment a little. This alone might have made their sex lives better -- whether or not any given position gave either partner more pleasure, the fact that they were trying new things would have opened up sexual possibilities to them they had not known about before.

The same is true today, of course. If a couple has had very basic sex, not varying pattern or positions much, adding many new activities to the mix will get them out of their loop and give them access to new sensations and experiences. All by itself, this can improve a couple's sex life. Plus, if a couple decides to try a bunch of Kama Sutra positions, it means they are mindfully exploring sexual possibility, which may open them up to greater pleasure. (Note that it isn't the Kama Sutra per se that has this effect -- it is the fact that our hypothetical couple has decided to explore.)

But how about the positions? Some seem designed to put the couple's bodies into configurations that might delay orgasm; others make it more likely that a woman will get more stimulation than she might during missionary position intercourse. Either effect might be said to improve sex. A few of the classic positions have been incorporated into the teaching of western Tantra -- that is, Tantric sex, shorn of most of its other spiritual context. One position that many couples love is sometimes called the Yab Yum, in which the woman sits on the man's lap facing him and they put their arms around each other. This allows a slow, intimate intercourse with the whole body involved -- chests and bellies can touch, the couple can kiss and look into each others' eyes. The woman is not pinned down with limited opportunity for movement, as she is in the missionary position (which one feminist wag prefers to term "the squashed bug position," though I must hasten to say that many women like it and do not identify with squashed bugs at all). And remember, as I noted above, that while this is typically presented as a position for a male/female couple, there is nothing to stop two women or two men from enjoying it.

Bottom line, the real answer to your question -- Will the Kama Sutra improve your sex life? -- is to find a partner who wants to explore with you, and find out for yourself.