Dear Carol,

I'm 32. When I was about 20, I crushed my left labia majora on the crossbar of a bike. Incredibly painful. I could barely walk for about two weeks. I didn't have a doctor, so I just waited it out, and it seemed to heal OK. However, within the last six months it's been acting up: it seems that the left clitoral stem, the part that goes from the clitoris down the side of the vagina, is seriously upset. It's giving me shooting pains, as well as dull pain (not debilitating, but not sexy at all). The pain goes from the labia into my clitoris, on the left side. It's making sex harder, and that is raising my anxiety levels well above anything I can express in words. My question: what's probably going on down there, and what can I do about it?

Do you know of a doctor who could help? I'm totally freaked out by the thought of anyone rearranging my pubic anatomy, so I haven't even started looking. I would trust a referral from you.

Thank you so much.

--Ex-Biker,

Dear Ex,

A variety of things could be going on, and not all of them may be direct sequelae of your bike wreck. Twelve years is a long time, and while you may be experiencing the after-effects of the accident, there may be other things going on as well. That the pain you're experiencing now is felt on the same side as your injury argues for it being bike-wreck-related, true. The sure thing is that you're right in wanting to see a doctor. All my readers who may get into genital-squishing bike wrecks in the future: Try to see a doctor right away! Bottom line, though, you need the support of a doc who's knowledgeable about genital anatomy. I'd suggest a referral from San Francisco Sex Information or Kink-Aware Professionals (they have a website) -- whether or not you're kinky, these docs have focused more on sexuality than your average physician, and will be more likely to know how to approach your problem. You might also approach your friendly neighborhood bike shop and see whether the grapevine there can suggest a doctor referral. Docs who regularly see sufferers of bike accidents could be a good bet; they'll know what sorts of damage is common after an experience like yours, although they may be a bit more likely to know how male parts react in such cases. Hopefully you can find a doc who knows that internal female anatomy bears some resemblance to internal male anatomy -- if the doctor doesn't know about the clitoral legs, that would be a warning sign, especially if your hunch is right and it's the leg in which the problem is focused.

What could it be? The soft tissue of the clitoral leg could have undergone substantial scarring. A blood clot might have formed. Neurological damage could be just now manifesting itself. (The way you experience the pain sounds like it could be nerve-based, though that's just a guess.) You could also have glandular problems on one side -- these may or may not be directly related to the bike accident. An infection in, say, the Bartholin's glands might possibly result in sensations such as the ones you describe.

In any case, get to a doc and get some expert help. As big a problem as the pain is the anxiety that accompanies it -- longterm untreated genital pain and accompanying anxiety can cause serious problems for your sexuality, as you no doubt sense. In the meantime, try to get plenty of good sensual touch -- that can act as a lifeline to your sexuality even if you temporarily cease genital play. Best of luck.

Dear Readers,

May is National Masturbation Month! You *are* in training already, aren't you? Here's an invitation to some of the festivities.

May 6th is the date of the Masturbate-A-Thon -- Good Vibrations and several of its sister stores around the country sponsor this charity pledge drive, which this year benefits the Intersex Society of North America, LLEGÓ, the Larkin Street Youth Center's Youth HIV Program, the Asian/Pacific Islander Wellness Center, and Oakland's SMAAC Youth Center. Get pledge sheets at Good Vibes stores or on the website: www.goodvibes.com, and come for a cause! While at the site, vote for your favorite members of the Masturbation Hall of Fame.

Tune in to the website on Sunday afternoons in May for GVTV. I'm hosting these programs featuring many of the leading lights in masturbation advocacy and education, and we'll be having lively discussions about self-love all month long! Join us for all four programs: Destination Masturbation (guests will include Joani Blank and Joseph Kramer), The Big O (with Mikaya Heart, Dr. Robert Lawrence, and more), and Advanced Masturbation (in which our guests consider such diverse topics as public masturbation and transgender issues). On the last show we'll announce the winners of the Hall of Fame poll, and special guests Nina Hartley and Midori are joining us to host a Wearable Sex Toy Fashion Show.

On Saturday of that climactic weekend I'll be at the fabulous Parkway Theater in Oakland with *Pleasure Activists*, my clip show of the best educational videos about masturbation. Tickets will be available only at the Parkway box office, starting the evening of May 6th. (Visit www.picturepubpizza.com for more information.) And here's where you come in, dear reader! During May Queen of Hearts will be primarily dedicated to masturbation. Send me letters about your masturbation preferences and adventures! Help me paint a picture of what the East Bay is doing when it puts its hands in its pants. Results of this totally unscientific survey will be announced at the Parkway show, and selected letters and excerpts will be featured here throughout May.