Dear Carol,

I appreciate your response to "Albany Girl’s" inquiry about vaginal looseness, and I wondered if you would pass on some additional thoughts I had: I am a stripper at the Lusty Lady peep show in San Francisco. My favorite show to perform in Private Pleasures (a booth in which customers receive a personal erotic show behind glass) is: "My Whole Fist in My Pussy." I love to perform this show for the simple pleasure of providing a service that stretches peoples’ attitudes about women and sex. Many times customers stare at my window menu incredulously, and say, "No way! Let me see your fist."

When I make a fist, their jaws drop. I know why: my fist is bigger than any cock they’ve ever seen. Many people initially seem almost horrified, at which point I remind them that as impressive as my hand is, it is significantly smaller than most babies’ heads, most of whom entered this world through a woman’s cunt. Aren’t women amazing?

At this point, many a customer does come into my booth for a show. In the midst of a scintillating strip and full self-fisting show, I explain and answer many questions about exercising vaginal muscles. Inevitably the questions arise: Does that hurt? Doesn’t that stretch you out? On the contrary, the flexing and contracting my cunt undergoes in the course of fisting actually strengthens my vaginal muscles so the sensual pleasure I derive (and, dare say, give) from all modes of penetration (fists, cocks, dildos, tongues, etc.) is enhanced. It is a wonderful feeling to be able to expand and stretch my cunt to the widest point (I am working on double fisting), and also to have toned muscles to appreciate smaller and more subtle types of touch and penetration. And as far as maximizing women’s sexual pleasure, in my shows I share how fisting is a great way to explore g-spot stimulation, which often results in female (writhing in ecstasy) ejaculation.

On the other hand, some customers’ looks go from shock to plain disgust, and they back their way down the hall. I have even had a (male) customer say, "No way do I want to know if you can fist yourself, because if that’s really possible, then I’m obsolete." This particular customer did not stay for a show, but I appreciate his honesty for articulating the worry I most often hear in male customers in my work as a stripper: having "too small" a cock. Fisting definitely turns the cock size debate on its head. If anything, since I’ve been fisting and exploring a range of sizes and shapes of objects for cunt (and ass) penetration, I am more appreciative of a wide range. The enlightenment and pleasure I’ve derived from fisting has made me much more concerned with how well people use what they have, rather than how big or small it is.

My life and sex are much happier since I have become a "loose" and well-exercised woman. And from this position of sweet liberation (in the midst of undeniable sex-negative, sexist, racist, classist oppression which I believe affects all people’s sex lives), I agree with Dr. Queen that all of this is relative. And so, I put out a question: is it that my cunt is loose, or is it that many men have tight asses? Some of the best sex of my life has been with men who have opened up their sweet spaces to me. Sexy joy, –Cayenne

Dear Cayenne,

If that doesn’t give "Albany Girl" a new outlook on life, nothing will! Thanks for telling readers about the venerable Lusty Lady–some already know that I am also an alumna of the Private Pleasures booth, although you must be double-jointed, darling. Not all of the extraordinary women who pass through the LL’s halls can do what you can. Fist-interested readers might want to know about Trust: The Hand Book by Bert Herrmann (this is focused on anal fisting); folks interested in the Lusty Lady would do well to track down Tim Keefe’s book of LL interviews, Some of My Best Friends Are Naked. Also, the LL’s battle to unionize is the subject of a documentary which will show next month at the Roxie in San Francisco called Real Live Nude Girls Unite. Yes, that’s close to the title of my own book Real Live Nude Girl– both titles were inspired by the sign outside the LL. As your letter shows, Cayenne, talking to a real live nude girl can be quite edifying.

Dear Carol,

I think you may have missed the point in answering "Shocked Daughter," which is that a dramatic increase in libido (as opposed to merely a decrease in mental self-censorship) is a very common symptom among early-stage Alzheimers patients. –Jerry

Dear Jerry,

Thanks for making that more explicit; it’s actually what led me to recommend that "Shocked Daughter" tell her mother’s health care providers about her uncensored sexy talk. In fact, any substantial personality or behavior change ought to be explained. Note, though, that SD didn’t say her mom was engaging in actively libidinous behavior–she is not known to be masturbating or soliciting sex from waiters. So far, she’s all talk. Still, whether or not this progresses to action, she’s displaying a notable change.